charts are fun!
"when in doubt, stop." - giancarlo europa, md
best advice i’ve had all month, i guess, a text from my brother (the real biological brother, one of the two anyways) warning me about the perils of driving, pertaining to my recent many reckless run-ins. huhuhu. i’ve found it to be comforting, almost like a mantra i’ve been living by many days now. gosh, does anybody even have the faintest… haay. whatever. im in deep turmoil on so many fronts. ive been sooo awfully tired this month. these many months. it’ll be over soon, though… but only the rotation from hell. the rest of my troubles remain…
but anyway, it works. when in doubt, stop.
and also, KYP, FTP!!!! the other secret mantra 
that for fear of losing my license and my otherwise sweet and sunny image i shall not elaborate…
is there such a thing as chronic fatigue syndrome? i have that. (nasabi ko na ata to sa blog na to dati)
oh i miss my old friends. i just realized, dawn and leo, you have been my kapitbahay for like 8 months already, but we’ve only seen each other 4x??? max? nung di pa tayo magkapitbahay we saw each other over coffee at the very least monthly. we had starbucks sessions then. naaalala nyo pa ba? parang ang tagal na. haaygrabe.
when in doubt, stop. something’s been bothering me, that i’ve been refusing to acknowledge… well perhaps writing about it and being vague like this means im actually acknow-…. waitaminute. no. no feeding. when. in. doubt. stop. STOP.
im a fan of the joss whedon thing. change topic and digress a bit. hehehe. thanks to KC for pointing me towards that. hehehehe. with my freeze ray i will stop the world!
i’ve also been listening to toni gonzaga (haha stupid). ok ok just coz i have it. ooohkaaay, sooo maybe not just coz i have it, i feel like listening to her now. hehehe. back to the jologs life. i haven’t watched "a very special love". sorry lloydy and sarah. hahahaha! feeling ko pa naman maganda. next time next time. oh but i’ve seen the aga&anne-curtis-our-friend flick (horrid thing, but boracay’s still the bomb!), also my big love (kaya ko nga pinapakinggan na si toni gonzaga - kamag-anak kaya namin ni johans sya? hehehe). have to have my fill of pinoy movies on dvd. and ive also seen the hollywood mysassygirl. pede na rin, nice i dont hate it, at least. my sassy girl. i love it. just the thought of it, mapa-english man o korean.
speaking of korean, every night i sleep to kim samsoon and dalja’s spring. wala lang. hahahaha! i sleep on the couch every single night. miss na miss na miss ko na ang aking kama at ang malupit kong unan. i dont sleep in my room anymore coz i happen to sleep really well and not get anything done. it’s a talent, sleeping, and my numero uno favorite hobby of all time (ask anyone). except for the three days last week that i had a heplock on and i was receiving intravenous steroids as a quick fix for my asthma (btw im better now, heal thyself, i told myself, so voila), nakaka-high pala talaga yun! still i went to work and did rounds and had to explain to everybody bakit nakaswero ako doing my rounds, about a million times in my hoarse best inday garutay impression. i slept for about 30-45 minutes only for that 3 day period, and i was more hyper than usual, and really praning, and rambling and mumbling and distracted and rtd-attending and un-tired and manic and not eating and really-for-chrissakes-not-sleeping! (and i wanted to, already), and i thank the heavens and my stars and my friends for pulling me through that meltdown. major major meltdown, with 30 patients under my service pa. so that was it, took the iv cannula out myself (sakit pala nun! thanks to my kambal for bearing with me, ang arte ko) and discontinued the hydrocortisone. so im back to normal. whatever’s my normal. hehehe.
anyway, so i sleep on the couch, they leave the tv on for me, on the premise that i will get up soon and do my job. i do not.
for example, i’m supposed to be doing charts pala now!! haaay.
i want to be a better driver. i want to fall in love. i want my patients to stop dying on me. i want to be bluddy rich, no matter what it takes. ["gusto ko lang talagang maging mayaman." -- jay echaluse, md. i hear ya, jay! and miss u, mwah.] i want to be a better swimmer and go back to bora. i want to sing everyday, and dance! i want to do what’s right. i want to zero out my charts. i want God to be proud of me. i want to be complete. that’s why i take centrum. sometimes.
ps. and just before logging off, i watched the sarah-johnlloyd mmk episode on youtube. hihihihihi!!!! di ko makita yung AVSL, but that will do for now. meron silang chemistry infernes.
pps. allen and toffee… the quitter is not quitting! semi-happy na ako ulit thanks for the comments, meant a lot. one day i will look back on this, centrum in hand, and feel that it was part of the process of completing myself. oh yes, convince yourself lauielau…
and btw. charts are not fun. haler. but got you reading, eh?
