What The World Needs Now Is Lau Sweet Lau

on twitter i found this by miley cyrus (originally by the beatles).

so cool. like it will solve my life crises.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”from the fb of my very good friend sarah.

yup EXACTLY!

Hey y’all sexy ones!!! fans friends and family, please support all my forays into the social networks right now… im on friendster, obviously, it’s the innovator, at least in my world… then im on myspace (di ko nga lang alam how to get there, pero come add me, if u can… hehehe, im ashton kutcher’s friend!), on multiply as lauielauielau, which i maintain to keep pictures in ;-D, and in facebook (new! new!) as mary lauren europa (yup i know i go by lau and gorgeous more often nowadays, haha, pero that’s my real name anyway)

wait, but of all, im most excited about… the twitterverse! please see twitter for my various tiny tweets. kumpara dito, nobela. hehehe. anyway, ashton (na aking ka-myspace) brought me there, and liking it so far. miniblog. la masyadong commitment, to sit down and write something worthwhile. ahehehe. im not following lotsa people pa, so please all. come, para may ma-i-follow. im following of course ashton, my ka-myspace, then perez hilton and paris hilton, and mandy moore (la lang, just saw her kasi).  and various friends i found. parang short and sweet tsismis lang dun. i know this somebody, who, upon seeing it, said, so… ano na? yun na yun? which is basically what it’s about, no social networking anything but a medium through which you can post various rambling 160 character shout-outs every now and then. hehehe. i guess what appeals to me is the fact that it is just that, and no need to maintain it much. unless di ko lang sya alam gamitin, which is highly likely, but well.

ok, so. add me!

yes, yes.   may natipuhan nanaman akong song. i’ve known this song from long back (ddnt we all?) kaya lang naalala ko lang recently dahil sa kay adam lambert, hehehe. oks pala ah.  Don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day. yun pa lang winner na. When there’s got to be no chance for me… my life would end and it doesn’t matter how I cry. My tears… are a waste of time. If I turn away am I strong enough to see it through. WO-HA!!

Anyway, here’s the song. if i can’t have you (by yvonne elman nung araw, and adam lambert of recent days)…

Don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day
When there’s got to be no chance for me
My life would end and it doesn’t matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time
If I turn away am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do
* If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody baby
If I can’t have you ah ah, I can’t have you
I don’t want nobody baby, if I can’t have you ah ah

Can’t let go and it doesn’t matter how I try
I gave it all so easily to you my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do

end

again, i may be talking about a lot of things. Don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day, when there’s got to be no chance for me. Like, don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day when there’s got to be no chance for me na magkasweldo. hehehe. pero angkop na rin yan otherwise.  i pick my featured songs naman as long as i think it can stand in for a blog entry about me and my life and my pseudo supercrises.

yun nga lang, anung “i don’t want nobody baby”! siempre i want somebody baby, diba! pero of course not just any body, anuba. princess pretty aka supergoddess aka sunshiny sweetheart, kaya dapat kick-ass din… like i said, not just any body… has gotta be kick-ass… but not as kick-ass as me probly, ang hirap naman na hanapin nun. hehehe.

oh yes, and i want somebody baby, but not somebody’s baby, not somebody else’s baby. hah!

hey! i watched YOU CHANGED MY LIFE na. niiiicce! im a fan!

btw, i ran across the blog of my friend rey r (how u na?) and read the following:

Alam mo ba yung feeling na sa pelikula ng buhay e parang extra ka lang?

O kaya yung tipo bang sidekick ng mga tunay na bida?Yung tipo bang nare-relegate ka sa pagsuporta sa guwapo at simpatikong mga tao at sa bandang huli e maiiwan ka na lang sa isang tabi habang naglalakad ang bida at ang leading lady papunta sa ibayo kaharap ang papalubog na araw?

Yung tipo bang sa tunay na buhay e ikaw si Dinky Doo sa mga pelikula ni Ronnie Ricketts, si Sancho Panza sa kwento ni Don Quixote o si Chewbacca sa buhay ni Han Solo.

Kumbaga sa pagkain e ikaw ang atchara – yung side dish na gawa sa papaya, carrots, sili, bawang at luya na maingat na inilalagay sa tabi ng mga barbecue at pork chop sa mga rice meal, para maging “special” iyung meal, at pagkatapos e ilalagay lang sa tabi para itapon pagkatapos kumain?

Minsan ang pakiramdam ko e ganun din ako. (end of excerpt)

OH WOW. (for the rest of the treatise - yes it was long dear, but i read through all of it - http://cherubtears.blog.friendster.com/2009/04/atchara/)  i hear ya talaga rey. although shuttup, i love atchara kaya! nabubuhay ang mga boring and dry na pagkain, talaga (u could also work this into one of your analogies too, but i mean it literally, i love atchara).

one of my best friends (si aggie) and myself have made that analogy long ago, in college, na yun pakiramdam namin, pero that time, candy pangilinan naman - laging yung ‘good friend’ type character ni angelu de leon nung sya pa yung bida sa mga movies, or whatever. nikki valdez (nga pala, whatever happened to? sidekick kasi yan kay bea nung betsy rallos sya - eh lam nyo naman betsy rallos is the bea character i’m most like diba - bestfren din ata sya ni juday o jolina, and many more, in one movie or another). ngayon si matet na rin. hehehe!

still, candy pangilinan, nikki valdez, and matet aside, i believe i am the star in my own soap, my own movie, my own stage. my own drama. my own musical comedy. and we’ve only just opened the theater, we’re not even remotely approaching the ending. so marami pang time for the figurative walk into the sunset. so. yey.

oh, oh and go manny!
hi to the autobots (private joke)!

yours always, optimist prime
ten things: screen names of recent times
1. supergoddess
2. crybaby
3. princess pretty
4. lola
5. sunshiny sweetheart - dati pa to ah college pero gusto ko lang isali, ganda e
6. optimist prime
7. gorgeous
8. marimar o kaya dyesebel o kaya betty
9. wow legs - dati pa rin to pero gusto ko lang isali, still true
10. kulot

Pero commercial muna.

“Hindi lang mga mag-siyota at mag-asawa ang pwedeng magkaron ng break-up..”

dahil matagal akong umabsent sa blogging, i.e. matagal akong umabsent sa pag-gawa ng charts (hehehe, rule is, i blog first and then, charts), eto, ang haba-haba nanaman. naipon, i started this last month p naman eh.

pero bago ang lahat, nais ko lang din manawagan, sa kung sinumang nakakita/pulot/nakaw whatever ng aking mga flash disk, pakisoli na lang po urgently please please please dahil nariyan ang aking buhay at mga kapapelesan. thank you po.

Ako when I finally say no, when I’ve finally made up my mind that it’s over, I mean it: IT’S OVER. Forever. Irrevocable differences. One of the few differences namin ni Kris Aquino (idol ko. Hehehe). I forgive but I never forget. I remember my best friend Aggie and how she said na, sa aming dalawa, sya daw ang nag-k-keep ng grudges, at ako hindi. Well, no more. Grudge galore. Ju-on. Hehehe. Justified naman I guess. Kunsabagay I really give my decisions much thought.  Tagal nga eh. Magdadalawang isip muna ako… tatlo… apat. But when it’s over, it’s over. Unlike others, meron akong self-worth.

Pero ya pinag-iisipan ko pa ren ang breaking free from residency…

back to regular programming…

http://leifreak8.multiply.com/journal/item/8/Francis_M._Eheads_and_100_months_with_Chuck
–> this gets to be seen by all no? no? yes? anyway, whatever the case, it’s tooo funny not to be seen by all…

and indeed, this is very funny, my sister’s blog… :-)  reminds me of my own when i was still cool. hehehe. which does not mean to say that im no longer cool, but there are so many circumstances disguised by a golf course that keep me from being the coolbeanschick i truly truly am…

she is sooo my sister, kasi, a lot of the things that affect her affect me greatly too. she is my sister after all, same dna, share clothes and shoes, the same room (which i hardly ever sleep in, being not only the couch commando-potato but also dweller now, and miss na miss na miss ko na ang aking kama at ang malupit kong unan). anyway, so I will just parallel hers,  lemme start.  for one, i too am feeling masipag to blog because of said recent significant, life-altering events.

Chapter 1. Francis M.

Of course si leia ang unang nag-inform sa akin.

“Gosh patay na si francis m. promise ang lungkot”

Nagitla naman ako, siempre. in the midst of the busy-ness that was the ER, siempre mega-announce ako sa mga tao na si francism, the man from manila, the running man, master rapper, ay wala na. as in maka-ilang beses ko nabanggit. sabi nga ni jimbo, “affected ka talaga ah.”   (btw, can i just say, now, jimbo i would not have survived eward happily if not with you, so God bless, we have the power, we have the magic! Thank you kuya jimbo.) which is true.

like my sister said, ours is an eat bulaga family, we see francis lang on a daily basis. for at least the one whole year when i took a year off, and eat bulaga was part of my regular daily routine, andun lang sya, nag-aannounce ng mga next numbers, kumakanta sa bulagaan. memorize ko pa rin hanggang ngayon ang “mga kababayan”, “ice ice baby” (ay iba na pala yun), and andrew e rap songs, pero wait wait, my point is, after francis m, to me, rap became something.  Sya rin ang dahilan kung bakit marunong ako mag-running man, at mag-rap, for bluddy chrissakes! and i have a vintage tape of YO! hidden somewhere in the house (actually no, it’s not hidden; i know it’s in GIAN’S room).  crush ko ata yun nung bata pa ako, pero im not too sure. baka. I think every little girl then did.

bata pa lang ako nakikita ko si francism sa mga family day, family communion. kasi his kids went to the same school as the girls in my family. unna and maxene were friends of my sisters. sabi ko kay celine, bestfriend nya kaya dati si maxene sa grade 1.

anyway, para sa akin, isa sya sa tunay na cool na tao ever to walk the face of the showbiz industry. Hehehe. haay.  Rap in peace, barapapaprap!

Mabuhay si Francis! sabi nga ni ely.  makabili nga ng three stars and a sun shirt. pag nagkapera na ko ulit.

Ten things I like about the late francis m. (in no particular order)
1.    Mga kanta nyang kick-ass
2.    Cold summer nights and girl be mine
3.    Isa sya sa mga bibihirang tao sa channel 7 na marunong mag-english (aside from the news and public affairs-ish people, and tito vic and joey, and paolo bediones, and dingdong, and heart and rhian).
4.    For one thing, hindi nakakahiya at cringe pag nag-iinterview sha ng foreign acts.
5.    Good blog, nakakaiyak.
6.    Almost ka-birthday ko (October 4 sya)
7.    Close sila ni ely e. Yung the sickos project idea, I thought that was golden.
8.    Close sila ni jojo a. hehehe! And they taught us how to dance, sila with bitoy, nung “working day and night”.
9.    That’s entertainment sya. My misspent childhood.
10.    SUPERPROXY!

Chapter 2. Life altering event number 2. The beginning of the end. Eheads concert.

Ako naman ay from duty nun, isa namang relatively mapayapang duty (i’ve had several of the worst talaga! di lang pasyente ang nag-going ballistic) at mapayapa rin ang umaga namin ni jimbo, sabi ko nga para lang kaming pumasok para mag-kwentuhan.  As early as onco days, meaning feb, nagpakuha na ako ng tix from my concert homieboy, meaning kuya carlo.  Turns out my neighbors, the smugmarrieds (hehehe) hindi na pupunta. baka busy. Ako rin nga, dapat ay hindi na rin pupunta, kasi:

1) pagod nga ako,
2) tas ayan nanaman ang looming insurmountable (remember my word of the day joma! wala pa rin nagbago) charts - siempre dapat napansin nyo na nagb-blog lang ako pag parating na ang charts day -
3) tapos ang dami-dami-dami ko pang kelangang gawin para sa sarili ko, gaya ng pagpapamasahe at facial at paayos ng buhok,
4) MOA pa kaya yun, ang layo layo…
5) nakita ko naman na sila many many times before, and i have all their songs and albums,
6) ang paper ko, kelangan nang gawin, leche, nang-makapagsweldo na’ng muli! (i’ve been working pro-bono, but not really voluntarily, since feb), etc etc

kaso, naisip ko rin:

1) eraserheads kaya yun, at mahal ko sila talaga,
2) sayang ang tiket, malamang di mag-s-scalp si carlo unlike yung ginawa ni gian nung last reunion concert - still i pity the schmuck who bought it,
3) i’ve been talking about it and waited for so long tapos mag-q-quit lang ako,
4) eraserheads kaya yun, at mahal ko sila talaga,
5) i need to unwind, and how much cooler than the eraserheads, di ba, tang ina!, sabi nga.
6) eraserheads kaya yun, at mahal ko sila talaga.

So i went home quite early, thank u lord for ER rotation and early relief… ang plano ni carlo to make kita-kita round 4 tas sabay2 na pumunta dun… kaso siempre i had to sleep a little, watch Startalk (siempre ibabad ang sarili sa luha at kiko tributes).  nung matauhan na ako, waking from the usual dreamless nap (knowing that i had to take the tube, as there was no way i was driving!!!), i left the house at 4:30ish. not meeting up with sila KC ha, kasi 4 pm pa yun… yoko naman na, late na ko eh (awwww… nakanaman)

so after years of not taking the mrt, again i did, and since mahaba-habang trip yun, na-reminisce ko yung taong i took a year off at nag”moonlight” at kung anu-anong kabalbalan nangyari sa buhay ko. real world, real life ba. kasi sa ospital, kahit anu pang sabihin nila, ilang facets lang nga ng life makikita mo. ilang uri lang ng tao. we’re quite cloistered talaga.

I remembered how i used to take the train on a daily basis, that one year, 2x daily, and how i frequented the malls just because sila ang karugtong ng train, how i went on gimiks like a normal tweenager, how i applied myself to driving (was quite good initially) and applied sa aking mga credit card applications, and how i read so many books that year, and how i cooked, and many, many other things.  how i’ve reintegrated myself sa family and friends (at least those who were not too busy for me).  Met up with long-time-no-see quality friends. I had a good year. although admittedly there were some things that happened that year that are quite harrowing as well, at least in the grand scheme of things i was happier and rested.   During that trip from north avenue to taft, i played escapist kumbaga, forget about my wretched life now. i speak of residency as if it were the ultimate evil.  it’s one thing to be tired physically, but once you feel your spirit is tired na rin…

but I digress. anyway back to the eheads concert. like my sister said, sulit na sulit!!! sulit na sulit na sulit talaga!!!! And like she said,  mas masaya talaga yun kung nasa harap kami at nakikita namin actually yung stage. We can actually see the stage, but i’m only five feet  one inch and three fourths, and ang dami palang matatangkad na tao sa pilipinas na fans ng eheads, nakataas pa ang mga braso at cellphone kakapicture. thank god for vidiwalls all around us.  and yes, i also felt bad na kung sino pang hindi nagbabayad sa vip and sivp este svip sila pa yung malapit. nyarks.  Hello dapat nga libre na yung mga nanood nung first eh! — yes i hear you my sis. (happened pa on my particularly harrowing month – august — na i sacrificed one whole night for them para lang atakihin sa puso yung isa jan, minura ko talaga sya ng husto. teka, let go let go!).

SO the eheads, as we all know, opened with magasin. siempre brought back all my memories as a teenager. high school pa ba tayo nun! saya-saya. ang eheads talaga anthemic, talagang lahat ng songs nila, associated with certain fond memories. haaaay… anyway ayoko na mag-review ng concert, tutal ang dami-dami na’ng nagpost about it, the song list and marcus’ cuteycutecute pink hello kitty guitar… kaya, magku-kwento na lang ako about myself. this is my blog anyway so swallow my drivel. yum yum.

like leia said, it was also so  “awwww…” , yung docu avp before the show started, super makes me wanna go back to UP where the glory days began, not only of eheads but my barkada as well… i also loved marcus’ hwag mo nang itanong, di ko sasabihin sa yo… that is one cool barrapapap boy, funny!  and the hello kitty guitar siempre. ive always thought he was the coolly sabog one, and high five and hep hep hurray for the cool sabog ones!:-)  too bad I was with shiny happy non-sabog people (but my favorite cool geeks nonetheless :-)) kaya di makapagwala ng tama.

my sister spoke of  SUPERPROXY, which i always loved, anyway, and yey, again props to francis m.

after the first bitin concert, sabi namin ng kapatid ko, di man lang nakanta ang ANG HULING EL BIMBO which clearly should be the last song.  anyway, so there we had it, and i was quite melancholy, also, at that point, kaya lang shiny happy people nga ang kasama ko so was in no way and condition to make emote emote. KC asked me many times kung okay lang ako. hehehe. (thought balloon: ok na ok, kaya lang gusto ko mag-awww, how sad, it’s the end na…)

and i remembered all the other memories that the eheads and their songs brought to our lives, yung mga SONGS talaga pare, like i said, anthemic, and then yung mga UP FAIRS na we’d stay up all night till the morning actually, nagvideoke kami, kain shawarma, nagbibibibili ng samut-saring kung anu-ano, at nagpakalasing si karen hehehe, at wala pa kaming mga kotse nun at ang babata pa lang namin, and simply stay there until it was time for the eheads… just to see/hear them, breathe the same alma mater air as them.  and we will leave happily after ng set nila, commuting and putting our promising youthful and foolish lives in danger. haaay. Ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon…

It was a day for reminiscing.

so there, tapos na. “ETO NA ANG HULING EL BIMBO, SING!” Sabi nga ni elyboi. Then it was the end. pero siempre, nung 4 meters na lang kami from the exit, biglang nagtawag nang encore yung mga mokong. hahaha. sinugod namin ni madel at giniba (naww, not us exactly, may gumiba na before us, but we followed them) yung harang between gold and silver, and got our best view of te concert at that time na. Napilitan ang boys na sumunod.
anyway, tawang-tawa ako sa sinulat ni leia (my sister) about this. ehehehe.  though like she said, siguro na-miss lang talaga nila at mamimiss kasi nila kasi ito na talaga yung last AND NO MORE.  sad. sad. sad.  and yes, ely buendia, i have loved you since forever, 12 years na ata. hot nga sya nun! alavya! apir! pero tang*** kapa rin cardiac patient! hehehe.  I  love him. At bumalik ulit yung pangarap ko when i was younger to fall in love and end up with a rockstar na sensitive at musical genius. hihihi.  Lagi ko tong sinasabi high school pa lang ako diba! sinabi ko rin yun about rico blanco pero med school na ako nun. but ohwell you can give me points for being consistent. hehehe.

stupid nga si tim yap, hahaha, epic fail as always (pero like ko sya, comedy kasi sya, penpenpen mukha mo wahahaha poser).  pero i have a soft spot for epic fails dont i. so again. apir!

Sabi ni ely, when they were just about done,”we are the eraserheads”. Sabi ni carlo, “hindi nya sinabing ‘we were the eraserheads’ so baka that was not the end”.  Malay mo nga naman. After 40 years, ovation productions present, the eraserheads at the araneta coliseum… Ehehehe.

epilogue. Few days back, duty ulit ako sa eward. bana-banayad naman ang gabi. at meron kaming tv, and the concert was shown on gma 7!!! hihihihi. in the order we were seated, sa 1400 daw ako, si sir pau (na eheads disser!) sa 1000, si joef at mam anna sa 500, at si sir melchor “sa bleachers” daw. hahaha! kakatawa (haven’t heard of that term bleachers since high school and my basketball-manic fangirl days)… and i regaled pips with concert stories, what happened while it was happening, habang nanunuod kami sa er, saya-saya, sabi ni sir pau parang andun na rin sya nun through my kwentoes, all the while dissing randomly what is clearly one of my favorite bands of all time. Leche ka. Hehehe.

yun lang.

Ten random things na naaalala ko pag nakakarinig ng eheads songs
1.    High school, basically. Almost every single song transports me to high school. 2.    I love you ely! 3.    Yung music vid nung 3rd year high school kami starring jennie and jomer and jopa. Torpedo.  Funny!
4.    yung langkwentang teleplay namin, did we not use overdrive or alapaap or waiting for the bus as the song for the montage??? Not sure.
5.    yung bumuo kami ng banda ba naman! I lavya guys! Reunion! Hehe. He. My playing the guitar, dabbling-dabbling in all but the drums… at yung pagpunta namin sa studio sa anonas just to practice, wasting our hard earned stipends. :-)  and i think we played/practiced shake yer head once nung kasama pa natin si val.  Kakatawa, alala nyo ba yun, on one hand, violet by hole then masaya-na-pacute na, eheads at color it red na… lexi hya sarah val me limjap-at-bri (na minsan ay nag-sessionist), we are antipara.
6.    sir tips
7.    yung nagpunta kami sa san Pablo at naiwan ko sa bahay ni bucao ang tape ko ng cutterpillow. Hoy san na yun! Hehehe.
8.    ang aming pag punta-punta sa mga UP fair as was said na.
9.    yung time na umuwi kami sa province at duon nakabili ng pillbox mag, and then yung fruitcake, and reading yung Christmas book nila and the friend I borrowed that from, etc etc. 10.    and then I remember UP. UP fight!
Chapter 3. Sawa na ako sa mga hassle sa buhay ko… ayaw ko na’ng mag-isip para sa sarili… tinatamad na akog byumahe, ang gusto ko’y nakahiga na lang…

after so many problems and issues and a lot of distress and pain, the past several months have seen me in a better state. siguro right now i am no longer trying that hard. acceptance is something that comes naturally to me, already.  cheers to that.

pa-habol na ako sa charts, 8 na lang ngayon, with 4 to be reconstructed. yey. pati ang utang ko sa DVD watching, hihihi, nahahabol ko na. napanuod ko na ang twilight hhahaha maganda naman (and as far as vampire love goes, BUFFY still rocks!!!  SMG idol for life!) cleaning up my act. actually malinaw na sa akin where i slipped, last year yun, and it was wrong to have dug myself into that hole. nirerehab ko na sarili ko. sana. wehehehe vague…

pero eto na, i am releasing myself from the bondages of what makes me unhappy. im letting go of things which do nothing but weigh me down lang.  Accept things which you cannot change, sabi nga nung adage.

i had dinner with 4 of my true friends quite recently, and nasabi ko lang sa kanila, at one point, quite frivolously, that i am so proud to have had what ive had with them these past 12+ years already, as my loves. best friends talaga. there will people whom you will always, always always like, no matter what happens. at para sa akin sila yun. God may not have blessed with me with a lot of what i ask for, pero he has given me true friends, and i have learned to discern that that quality of trust, genuine concern, and friendship in its very essence is not only hard to find, but hard to equal. i’ve been told by people how seriously i view friendship, like it’s a pact, a relationship you get into, short na lang of being romantically involved. and now i have learned to accept not to expect it every time i enter into one. maaaring may ka-barkada, may ka-close, ganun, pero yung talagang friend, hard to come by. i dont even have to see that person all the time to know na quality friend sya (like my bear friends, for example). siguro minsan yung time na ininvest mo sa friendship would also be factored in, but no matter. meron naman akong mga sandali ko pa lang nakikilala alam ko na agad na dekalidad. so now, i strive for quality, no longer quantity. you don’t always get what you give. ayun. so now i’ll be more careful regarding who i start caring for. neway i miss you guys, my real true friends, sana magkita-kita na ulit tayo soon. to my best friend au, some people are not worthy of your unhappiness, wag mo na lang pag-aksayahan ng panahon.  and we love you, tell me what i can do to help. you’ll always have me. us. mwah.

Chapter 4. Leonardo and Kate.

These two, I have loved for a long time. Si kate winslet ka-birthday ko kasi yan, kaya fangirl na nya ko, dun pa lang sa fact na yun. And who hasn’t fallen in love with these two sa titanic? I love love love them!!! I watched said movie 3 million and 500 thousand times, on cable, on VCD, on DVD, 2 or 3 times sa moviehouse pa. Bata pa ako nun. Though I start mini-zoning out after the iceberg alert, kasi after that it starts to hurt too much. Who hasn’t cried over this? Who? (well you are a malditang heartless!) hehehehe. I cried dun sa grandparents nag-hug na lang while waiting for thw water to put them to, er, sleep, sa mga kids that were put to bed with a story, sa mga instrumentalists who played their sad swan song. And siempre when leo died. Huhuhuhu. I totally love em. I played dress-up as rose de witt bukater not just once but twice, for 2 special occasions… muntik na ngang three [last December kasi, ang theme sana namin sa Christmas party, Hollywood movie icons, and I was all set to go again as rose dewitt bukater (ediba kulot nga ako ulit ngayon, so sakto sana!)… until I heard na si nav had plans of going as jack, kadireeeh, so naisip ko, lara croft na lang kaya (oo carry ko yun, shut up!) or princess leia, yung balot-na-balot version ha, in white at may baril2 pang nalalaman… anyway, ang ending, marami kasing hindi game sa naturang theme, so naging white Christmas na lang and we came all dressed up in sweaters and bonnets and mufflers and gloves… siempre si nav may dala pang skis. Talagang performance level sya ha.] I digress again.

So SIEMPRE naman, when I saw the golden globes speech of kate for winning best actress in revolutionary road, naiyak ako talaga… minahal nya si leo for 13 years, I was like, so, awwwww…. Grabeh! Kilig! Pinoy love team! Fan! … Sana sila na lang. Hehehe. Sana sila na lang sa totoong buhay. wehehehe poor sam mendes. Hihihihi. Bahala sya. And naturally, I watched said movie. And in the tradition of me being the typical pinoy moviegoer, syyeeettt, walang kwentang pelikula, hindi happy ending, may namatay nanaman! Anubayan!!! Leo and kate!!! Hindi na ba kayo pwedeng maging happy??? Ha? Are you doomed to never end up together? Hahahahaha.  Anyway, I still love them with all my heart.

So in order to cheer myself up, I googled and ogled at the pretty pics of another couple I totally adore: sarah and freddie. OF COURSE. I heart them.

happy holy week, y’all.

Love love, your princess pretty, the real sweetheart.

senti:

I’ve been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I’ve been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while

Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I’ve been travellin’ a hard road
Lookin’ for someone exactly like you
I’ve been carryin’ my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.

Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I’ve been doin’ some soul searching
To find out where you’re at
I’ve been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands

Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied.

I’ve been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realised
The best is yet to come.

Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

– someone like you, shawn colvin.

exactly like who??? hehehe. aminin. who knows me best would know, i guess. heart not quite on my sleeve this time (pero sabi ni charisse oo DAW). pero mamatay na mga feeling. at mali kayo malamang, as always, hindi siya. nge no. anyway reminds me of ’sundo’ by imago, kay tagal sinuyod ang buong mundo, di ba.  and i already posted that. last year. i think.

angry:

I thought I knew all it took to bother you
Every word I said was true that youll see
How could it be Im the only one who sees your rehearsed insanity
I still refuse all the methods youve abused
Its all right if youre confused let me be

Ive been around all the pawns
Youve gagged and bound
Theyll come back and knock you down and Ill be free

Ive taken all and Ive endured
One day it all will fade
Im sure

I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything

I had no other hand in your ever desperate plan
It returns and when it lands words are due
I shouldve known we were better off alone
I looked in and I was shown
You were too

Ive taken all and Ive endured
One day it all will fade
Im sure

I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything I dont owe you anything

Ill stick around Ill stick around and learn from all that came from it

Ill stick around Ill stick around and learn from all that came from it

Ill stick around Ill stick around and learn from all that came from it

Ill stick around Ill stick around and learn from all that came from it

- i’ll stick around, foo fighters’

i’ll stick around??? says who? hanggang kailan is more like it.  i would have put in “she works hard for the money, so hard for it honey, she works hard for the money so you better treat her right” by donna summer kaya lang im working hard for no money no more…

and one of my favorite songs since forever…

hopeful:

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you’re gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

- you learn, alanis. of course.  halos life mantra ko na yan.

and wait. the next, and last, song, is on pain… wala lang, did a report on that last friday kasi, on pain management… and this was my second slide… blast from the past. the musical influence of my youth, a happy childhood it was.

in pain, but hopeful still:

when i was young i thought that all the stars were pretty, but then i learned that a twinkle could be just a lone star’s ghost. and a spec just a spec, nothing more. and all the beauty you thought was the world, becomes tainted as you grow old.

why must it be this way, you asked me. why must it be this way? and i answered. it takes pain to free the soul. it takes pain to free the soul.

but then after the night comes morning. to start healing. to start healing.

the lessons of life are often hard and some are even harder to learn. age has nothing to do with wisdom nor wisdom with the truth. i don’t have answers i say to you, only questions and dreams and fears. though i always look before i leap.

why must it be this way, you asked me. why must it be this way? and i answered. it takes pain to free the soul. it takes pain to free the soul.

but then after the night comes morning. to start healing. to start healing. to start healing healing healing healing…

- healing, color it red.

i had to type that from the beginning kasi wala akong makitaang lyrics online. so ayan, meron na’ng lyrics online. but anyway that’s how i remember the song goes. im not sure but i’ve probably posted it na nga before. anyway “healing”  is quite cathartic, kaya nga healing eh, duh, iniisip ko na lang talaga na it takes pain to free the soul. hopefully soon it’ll happen.

anyway i shall post a proper blog next time. how many times have i said that? na-feel ko lang maglagay ngayon having heard ’someone like you’ yestday. and congratulations to my friends kat and jojo who are getting married on saturday!:-)

luvluv, princess pretty aka supergoddess

LAU’S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 2008.

a kick ass JACKET! (I always have a new jacket for Christmas every year, I get one for myself if nobody buys for me, hehe). Okay din ang trenchcoat-type jackets, i like them nowadays. Thankssomuch! can i just say, kase, “malamig ang pasko…” hahaha.. every year and forever na lang. pero i love jackets so ok lang. REMEMBER THIS IS A WISHLIST STAPLE. And black is good (my name is rain). But dark vivid colors good too. the usual.

BLACK NA LEGGINGS OR SLIM/SKINNY PANTS

TEES: with (1) A PINEAPPLE IN FRONT, (2) A HEART. JUST ONE, (3) top na may “88″ sa harap, (4) HOOTERS tshirts because i like them

G-TEC 0.4 na PURPLE… lexi ok sana yung purple na bingay mo saken kaso hiningi ni mama. neway the point is, gotta be gtec to complete the collection. hehehe

puting bathrobe yung makapal and lush na type ok ok ok (sabi ng sister ko, “ede sumali ka sa PBB…” ohyouhavenoidea!! its the PLAN B!!!!)

the bejeweled lil clips from girl shoppe or marcela, whatever, para princessy… mga 100+ nga lang yun each, but they really cheer me up when im down

any jewelry na rose quartz (para magkalove daw) bracelet or something. actually pendant nga lang gusto ko kasi ang bigat ng rose quartz mashado. but anything will do. :-0

mga scarf. alam mo naman ako pauso

isang malong

the meteor garden necklace from first season (yep i still have the ring from second season). just in case the necklace gets revived too, somewhere.. i got the ring from SIUVONI. with outlets at sm megamall and sm manila.  neway kahet yung pendant na lang dn. Suntok sa buwan.

siopao pearl earrings. yah i know i have plenty, eh so what? kaysa naman…

diamond earrings. o ano? heyomytonyboy are you tuning in??? — phoebe di na talaga nagprosper ang tonyboy plan ko few years back. shyet. so is it back to true love, then?

dermalogica products in order of preference: (1) daily microfoliant, (2) barrier repair. well actually daily microfoliant lang talaga ang gusto ko..:-) available at rustan’s essenses

olive oil body mist, available at the body shop

a harmonica, kahet the cheapest of the lot. to enable me to make more noise than usual

a rainmaker from palawan, thanks gian for the idea. to enable me to make more noise than usual… plus i love the rain

scrap the rainmaker… it’s too big. a shaker na lang. whatever it’s called. pang-sounds. barrapapap!

shu uemura eyelash curler (very expensive but available cheaper, on the net, sa mga local merchants, so they say)… i already have the fanny serrano eyelash curler, maganda nga sha infernes but i have no time to wear contacts let alone curl my lashes

the extra challenge of the wishlist: lauren by ralph lauren na perfume.  hindi “lauren style by ralph lauren”. lauren lang talaga. when i was very little my mom used to have this little red cube-shaped bottle of lauren by ralph lauren, tas tuwang-tuwa talaga ako with it,  smelled really good, and hey it had my name on it so siempre when you’re young nakakatuwa talaga yun. i remember din sbi ni mama super mahal daw yun kaya super tinitipid nya pag gamit. neway my mom collects old bottles of perfume, i sorta kinda picked up the habit din (that and bottles of tequila hehehe), eh ang kaso, like last year or so, tinignan ko ang kanyang basura sa cabinet, naalala ko the perfume named after me :-), at ayun, WALA among her bottle collection ang aking childhood memory! di nya rin maalala kung san na yun. so, ive been looking for this for a while now, sa mga malls. eh sa wala, so far. tonight naisip kong i-google, hello, vintage perfume na pala ito, introduced in 1978 (di kaya’t dito napulot ni mama ang name ko??), mejo na-discontinue na nga lang ang line, pero still available online, sa ebay, sa www.fragrancex. com, mga ganun.  now should any of u get to procure this for me I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.  although i do already.  i will love you more kahet i-bill nyo pa ako. yun lang
BOOKS  — gusto ko lang kasi nito pero hindi ko rin naman ito mababasa not in the next 4 years, unlesss…
- Trip to Quiapo by Ricky Lo este Lee (no idea where to find this… pero dati meron sa Natio, luma na kasi ito)
- Fourteen Love Stories - edited by Jose Dalisay (available at the UP Press, call 9253243/9282558/ 9266642 o ayan ha)
- The perks of being a wallflower – Stephen Chbosky (seen at Natio Katips… pero siempre mas mahal dun)
- Chicken Pox for the Soul - Jessica Zafra (hard to find, luma na rin kasi)
- The Acid House — Irvine Welsh
- Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
- Paulo Coelho’s Veronika decides to die, though ive read it na io just want them part of my collection
- Pera Palaguin (hahaha) kasi our new motto is “kaching kaching!” (tagalog version ng “show me the money..!)  available in national bookstore. kalimutan ko na sino yung author

Kurt Vonnegut books: –> lapit na, konti na lang! dami rin at UP but most of the time i already have what they’re selling. Grabe.  - Happy Birthday Wanda June  - Between Time and Timbuktu  - Canary in a Cathouse  - Fates Worse Than Death
- A Man Without a COuntry  - This one nakita ko lang sa internet, but don’t really know about: THE BIG SPACE F***
KVJ lives on…

PIRATED DVDs:
- Temptation Island the 70s movie starring Dina Bonnevie, Azenith Briones, Jennifer Cortez, etc. basta the funniest pinoy film ever made… na hindi comedy.  SIGE NA PLEASE SOBRA.
- Pare Ko the 90s movie starring Claudine Barretto and the Gwapings
and my staples: - Just Married (Ashton and Brittany), and Dude Where’s My Car (Ashton and Stifler) :-)  - The Parent Trap ni Lindsay Lohan - My Girl ni Macaulay Culkin  - Boys and Girls - Edward Scissorhands  - DVDs (pirated is ok) ng A Guy Thing (DVD coz I like the special features)  - Home Alone 1 and 2 (na i saw in a dvd 9 collection before)  - That 70s show dvds (thanks auie for the idea) except season 1 kasi i have it na - FRIENDS din pala … AZIF I HAVE TIME TO WATCH THEM ALL!!

mga email signatures ko:

circa 2004-2005…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“i would choose to love you in silence for in silence i won’t find rejection. I would choose to see you in my dreams for there no one owns you but me…” - zaizai
“When love is like a catastrophe, then approach it with braveness because this is the only path to true love..” - Love Storm
“You’ll never know it’s not true love till it’s over anyway” - Jennifer (Claire Forlani), Boys and Girls
“…and who knows? i might feel better if i don’t try and i don’t hope” - The Corrs
“don’t waste time feeling hurt… we’ve been through hell together…” - Mandy Moore
NI ZAI NA LI?

2006-2007…
“People say that I’m a fool, well I don’t know. At least I found out what it takes to be strong. I was dreaming all day long, a drifting cloud. With eyes wide open I would choose not to see. Now I don’t want to see you any more, don’t want to be the one to play your game. Not even if you smile your sweetest smile, not even if you beg me darling please. Say good morning to the world, I hope you like it. Take good care of all those things that we had. I’ve been looking for a way for too long now. Seems like everything must come to an end. Time after time, nothing that I can do. Knowing your ways and loving your ways but not getting through at all. Day after day leaving the past behind. Coming to terms with stitches and burns and learning to fly again…” NI ZAI NA LI?

2008…
When I saw you at the grocery store, you were sharing a shopping cart with her, and I couldn’t turn and run away, I didn’t know what to say. you introduced us for the first time, and I had to look her in the eye, but you could not imagine my surprise.. can’t you see you’re leaving me for an ugly girl? does she talk about politics, and all the stuff that used to make me sick? does she smoke cigars and stay up late, oh she’s so great.. does she tell you what you want to hear? and I bet that she can grow a beard. I’d feel better thinking you were queer. it’s not fair I can’t compare to an ugly girl. ha ha ha the jokes on me. I feel jealous and I feel mean. is she so nice that it makes up for her face there’s no way. do you have to keep your eyes closed? do you have to keep the lights down low?
oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold can’t you see you’re leaving me for an ugly girl. — fleming and john

just reread things some of my sent emails to my bestest best friends, and wala lang, kakatawa. tas nakita ko ang mga email sigs ko, kakatawa rin. dapat nga palitan ko na itong fleming and john song kasi hindi na angkop (coz he left anyway for an ugly girl pero hindi na sila ngayon hahaha at ayoko na rin sa kanya so, tough), but it’s too funny and i like it.

btw i updated my online wishlist (AZIF MAY NAGBABASA NITO) kasi marami palang nakasulat dun na meron na ako. dayumm..

love y’all sexy bitches, mwah

L

ps. candace bushnell is it really u? hehe.

i already put this quote in a few months back.  gusto ko lang isulat ulit. like, mental note to self:

Your job is to break through barriers. Not accept blame and bow and say: “Thank you, I’m a loser, I’ll go away now.” “Phil’s mean to me….” So what? You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you’re still smiling. That’s true greatness to me.
- claire colburn, elizabethtown

i love claire colburn (kirsten dunst) talaga promise. 

i need the courage if i am to fail big AND stick around, though i am failing in many aspects of my life, and yet still sticking around in a “namo universe!” rebellious irap. and im still smiling. so. there is a solution though.  that im just refusing to accept.

dear God please help me know what to do next. amen.

aba sosyal nag-iba ang itsura ng friendster blogs! and to think i just reread things few days ago…
ganito ako kadepressed, that i just reread my whole blog. wala lang, to cheer myself up. sabi kasi nila, im refreshing and colorful, so i thought maybe reading into myself, at least into my old happy self, might give me a boost.

so. i realized.

im a very funny complex person nga talaga, gawsh. im so funny. naaliw talaga ako sa sarili ko. dun sa lauie na 3, 4 years younger… so full of hope and happiness and also, sometimes may poot but enmeshed with happiness. hehehe. makulay talaga. hehehe. interesting interesting. whereas i used to be a really funny personality before, ngayon parang hindi na mashado. i pale next to the old me, who shone.

have to get my spirit back!

and obviously kapag something is not right in my world saka lang ako nagbloblog (tsaka pag wishlist time). for instance, almost 1 year akong di nagblog prior to the last wishlist. pano kase, that was my year off. so relatively walang problema. kaya eto lage akong may blog, ibig sabihin, magulo.

at! ang tagal ko nang hindi nag-ten things, pala. the centrum thing, yun na ang closest siguro to that.

sige, sige. ten more random things about me, now.

1. still single, gorgeous and available. but this is not a singles ad. so don’t interpret it that way, yes im talking to you the eeeky yucky stalkers. nyeech, i couldn’t care less. ano lang, para lang alam ng mga friends ko at ng mga close ko kung ano naba talaga. pero basta, no matter what you hear, SINGLE ako. what my friendster status says goes.  yan ang totoo.

2. i have a feeling, it’s crazy and i know it’s irrational, but i feel as if there’s a universal conspiracy against me. murphy’s law umaatikabo. obviously. sunud sunod ang kamalasan na dumarating, hindi ko na malaman kung ano ang gagawin…sabi nga. and i replied back: PARTY HARDER!!!!! anyone who wants to aya me and get wasted silly text lang ako.  after next week when the world would actually start caving in on me, we dig a hole out and parteeeh

3. im such a loser, for example, i watched the eheads concert with my brother (gian), and as the whole world knows already, naputol ang concert dahil namo ely. wehehehe. doctor na hindi understanding. neway, see???? if i didnt go, siguro nabuo yung three sets na prinepare nila tugtugin. see #2. im so jinxed. have to  exorcise the negative juju.  what was it? what triggered it? sunud sunud talaga. was it a chain email/text i didnt send? a broken mirror? (though i dont remember breaking any as of late) a lola na di ko binigyan ng fita biscuit?whaaat??? or is the universe already giving me a shove, actually sobrang loud and clear na nung message ng universe, in denial lang talaga ako. this has got to stop.  happy pa ba ako? do i actually need this? do i need this unhappiness in my life for my growth????

4. i like shiny things. shining, shimmering, splendid things. my latest collection are these quaint vintagey shiny bejeweled clips and stuff for my hair, na sobrang cute pero sobra ring expensive. my spirit’s so dull now i have to be makintab physically tuloy

5. gusto ko ang dirty ice cream. cheese flavor lang at sugar cone.

6. favorite alcoholic drink: tequila. luma na to. who doesnt know about this yet?

7. i’ve started driving, nga pala. virgin who can’t drive!! (copyright alicia silverstone, clueless) well totoo pa ren yun kasi nga naka-ilang beses na rin akong bangga, and im a lot better now emotionally kasi kina-depressan ko kasi yan dati, ang aking apparent failure as a driver. pero when it comes to my driving skills, hmm… cars and lau don’t mix (i guess ive mentioned this many times in this blog, kahet nung di pa ako nagdadabble sa driving), pero now parang ok na. famous last words. sana hindi na maulit yung hindi na maulit. sana sana. my brother has provided me with good lifetime advice, when in doubt STOP daw. so i do. effective naman. (STOP DRIVING?no way). my car is named grey.

8. i have marimar/dyesebel hair now pala, for quite a while na. since feb 8. but c’mon, ive worn my hair this way already back in college so nothing new. to me and old friends at least. pero patok naman with others. hehehe. di ko alam when i’ll tire of it. kulot has already become me.  papatanggal ko rin to someday (i have a plan) have to have a press photo muna of my hair. eh wala pa. may naisip na ako na pose. hey KC!!! hehehe!!

9. best shawarma tasted ever: sa baguio! san nga ba yun sheila? bodiwharma? parang ganyan.

10. chocobananapeanut shake ng bora. miss ko na.

malapit na kasi akong magbirthday ehem ehem ehem (though beware the birthday bah-humbug scrooge in me!) at magchristmas at binoblog ko naman palagi ang wishes ko every year, so here i go again…
sabi ni julie andrews, when you’re feeling sad you simply remember your favorite things and then you don’t feel so bad. so parang ganito na rin yun.
yung centrum i want to be complete list ko, yun sana, kaso hirap naman fulfill yun. has to come from within me kaya.
so eto yung mga pwede. mweehehe.

so my monitomonita mommy santa for this year baka gusto mo tulungan… it’s that time of year again…

LAU’S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 2008. Reruns from previous lists wala na rin kasi ako gano maisip

- a kick ass JACKET! (I always have a new jacket for Christmas every year, I get one for myself if nobody buys for me, hehe). Okay din ang trenchcoat-type jackets, i like them nowadays. Thankssomuch! can i just say, kase, “malamig ang pasko…” hahaha.. every year and forever na lang. pero i love jackets so ok lang.
- TEES: with (1) A PINEAPPLE IN FRONT, (2) A HEART. JUST ONE, (3) top na may “88″ sa harap, (4) HOOTERS tshirts because i like them
- G-TEC 0.4 na PURPLE… lexi ok sana yung purple na bingay mo saken kaso hiningi ni mama. neway the point is, gotta be gtec to complete the collection. hehehe
- puting bathrobe yung makapal and lush na type ok ok ok (sabi ng sister ko, “ede sumali ka sa PBB…” ohyouhavenoidea!! its the PLAN B!!!!)
- the bejeweled lil clips from girl shoppe or marcela, whatever, para princessy… mga 100+ nga lang yun each, but they really cheer me up when im down
- any jewelry na rose quartz (para magkalove daw) bracelet or something. actually pendant nga lang gusto ko kasi ang bigat ng rose quartz mashado. but anything will do. :-0
- mga scarf. alam mo naman ako pauso

Love, Lauie lau

AND I ALREADY WATCHED A VERY SPECIAL LOVE… NICE. (ganyan ako kadepressed im knowing my priorities and effingwhat should really be my priorities :-)  kaya eto let’s end with a song.

I never believed in love… I was deceived by love… I never had much luck with lovers before…

And I couldn’t compete… I seemed just part of the street… To be walked on by everyone but then

I found a very special love in you.. It’s a feeling that’s so totally new
Over and over, it’s burning inside
And I found a very special love in you.. And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I’m never gonna let go…

You’re not like the rest… I know you’re one of the best
You give more than you should and take nothing in return

Stay always with me… And I always will be
The one person that you can count on always to love you

And I found a very special love in you.. It’s a feeling that’s so totally new
Over and over, it’s burning inside
And I found a very special love in you.. And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I’m never gonna let go…

well i’ll try.